Saturday, July 20, 2019

Journal Entry # 26 Trust in Him

Abba, I can only see and understand so much. You are an infinite God, there is none like You. Help this girl be anxious for nothing knowing that You are my God. I believe and know that you are loving and caring. I have no reason to fear, stress, or worry about my future. You will direct my steps. Thank You for all you will do.


Looking back now, my teen years and in my twenties, I can remember always being afraid. I worried so much that I had headaches. During my undergraduate year, in college, I dealt with panic attacks. And I confess, I am a control freak. I want to know everything about everything. I struggled to trust God because I was looking at the present circumstance I was in or the trouble that seemed to surround me. I worried because I did not believe that God loved me or cared about my future. I thought of myself and my life as a "leftover," and God would get to me when He could.

If I could speak to my twenty-three-year-old self, I would say, be still and know who your God is. He is a refuge, He is in control and can be trusted. You don't have to worry about Him forgetting about you and any situation that comes your way, God is aware. In fact, nothing that will ever happen to you will pass through his hand without him knowing. God is all-knowing. Put your trust in the One, who by his strong arm, lead his people through the red sea. Trust in the One, who made and established the earth on its foundation. God is a loving Father and always present, he doesn't sit back and doesn't care about what concerns you. His word says trust in the Lord at all times, pour out your heart, God is a refuge. Tell God how you feel, don't try to be the person who says "I'm okay" or "I'm blessed," but really, you're worried and sad about what going on or what will happen in the future. Don't ignore your pain instead tell God and remind yourself of who God is. God is faithful, patient, kind, and his thoughts of you are precious, and he desires to give you a future and a hope.

What are the reasons you think you worry about the future? 

Sunday, June 03, 2018

Journal Entry #25: Press On

Abba...I want to sleep with hopes that everything will be okay. From this day forward, I ask for the courage and strength to press on.                                                                                              5/10/2011

If I could speak to my twenty-two-year-old self, I would say:

Do not be surprised because trials and troubles of any kind will come into your life, but you must choose to press on.  Do not give up instead seek God. Seek Him in your confusion, frustrations, doubts, and fears. Remember that God can handle all your worries and questions. Ask for God's perspective and lean not on your own understanding. Choose to take it one day at a time, stay close to Him and be honest about your pain. Getting through a season in which you experience pain or suffering is a process, not always an instant deliverance. Learn all that God wants to teach you in the seasons God will allow you to go through. You might not understand or receive an answer to "why" you're going through this pain or trial but trust God. Trust in Him as God, not as a human. Remember that God is trustworthy, His thoughts of you are precious, and He wants to give you a future and hope. He is the God who is with you, so there is no need to be discouraged, He will help you and strengthen you.  He is the God who will sustain you in any season of life.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Journal Entry #24: A woman that prays

Today, I learned about prayer. Prayer should be a part of every Christians' life. I hope to incorporate prayer into every aspect of my life.  A time in which I confess, offer praises and thanks to Your name. "A woman that prays daily."                                                                              6.25.11

My one desire is to be a woman of prayer.

I remember my first prayer request was that I would become a Christian, for God to tell my dad I loved him (he died when I young) and that I would move to New York. At that time, I was eight years old. I prayed with confidence, there was no doubt in my mind that God did not hear me. Then fast forward to middle and high school, I began to write out my prayers and set a time to pray for my family and friends. When I entered college, I would write my prayers to God daily. Even now, I still write my prayers in journals (for the last 10 years) and have a prayer board. Each day I would have a specific thing to pray for, for example on Sundays I pray for my church, on Mondays for family and co-workers, Tuesdays for inner cities, Wednesdays for world issues, Thursdays for brothers and sisters in Christ, Fridays for the President/world leaders and on Saturdays for myself.  I am currently a part of a Prayer and Compassion team in my church. I enjoy praying for others and using God's word to encourage others. 

When I look back at my journals, I can't help but see how I have grown and seen God's faithfulness. My journals have allowed me to see that God does listen to our prayers. Also, that the Christian walk is not perfect, there are moments of joy, and times of struggles and trials. One thing I am enjoying about journaling my prayers is seeing how God has sustained me as I have moments of fear and trouble.

What is one desire you have as a Christian?

Monday, January 15, 2018

Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

 Don’t you know that all the runners in the stadium run, but only one gets the prize? So run to win.  Everyone who competes practices self-discipline in everything. The runners do this to get a crown of leaves that shrivel up and die, but we do it to receive a crown that never dies. So now this is how I run—not without a clear goal in sight. I fight like a boxer in the ring, not like someone who is shadowboxing. CEB

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

Journal Entry #23: When I'm hurt...

Abba, I have been hurt and sad a lot this year. Many things have come to my attention, I have been lied to and talked about by people. I'm heartbroken by the way people have treated me. Abba, forgive me because I tend to treat people the way they treat me. But I know I should show respect to all people and see them as You see them (with love).

During my high school and undergraduate years, I was put in circumstances that challenged me to forgive others. I have been taken advantage of, rejected, teased, seen abuse. When I was hurt, I wanted revenge, sometimes I would isolate myself, or lie to myself about being okay. I have learned since my younger years, positive ways to handle hurt. I would first admit, the pain I was feeling. Then, I asked God to help me forgive and love the person. And lastly, I began praying for the person and my own heart. The Lord has met me while I was in pain and I am sure He will meet you in your own pain and struggles. 

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” 


What are positive and negative responses you have had when someone hurt you? 
What do you think are the best ways to handle hurt?

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